How to Turn Etiquette into a Fundraising Advantage in Today’s Landscape

Created By: John Philligin
August 28, 2025

The Giving Landscape Today

In today’s philanthropic marketplace, donors can give anywhere. They choose the organizations that make them feel valued, understood, and connected to change. That experience is rarely created by chance. It is built in the smallest details, and those details are governed by etiquette.

In 2024, Americans gave a record $592.5 billion to charity, according to the Giving USA 2025 report. Giving grew 6.3% over the prior year (3.3% after inflation), marking the first real increase in three years. Moreover, the report confirmed that individual donors remain the engine of philanthropy, contributing roughly 66% of all giving (about $392 billion), with individual giving growing more than 8% year over year.

But beneath those headline numbers lies a challenge. The number of individual donors declined by another 4.5% in 2024, continuing a decade-long trend. In other words, more dollars are coming from fewer people. At the same time, the largest transfer of wealth in history has begun, shifting trillions from baby boomers to Gen X and millennials.

For nonprofits, the implication is clear: growth depends on deepening relationships with individual donors and adapting to how the next generation wants to engage. That begins with rethinking etiquette not as formality, but as a strategic tool for belonging, trust, and loyalty.

Why Etiquette Is the Hidden Lever in Fundraising – Especially Now

Etiquette is everywhere in fundraising, even when we don’t talk about it. It shapes how donors experience your organization: how they are greeted at an event, how promptly they are thanked for their support, how their preferences are remembered, and even who sits next to them at dinner.

For decades, traditional etiquette served older, wealthier donors well. Formal correspondence, exclusive events, and tiered recognition aligned with their expectations. Those practices still matter, since giving them up could alienate long-standing supporters who are key to your success. But today’s emerging philanthropists often look for something different. They value authenticity over formality, access to impact over access to hierarchy, and transparency over titles. The next generation is not rejecting etiquette itself but instead rejecting the feeling of being treated as a generic donor and going through the motions.

Modern etiquette is about intentionality. It keeps the timeless principles of thoughtfulness and respect but applies them in ways that make donors across generations, backgrounds, and giving capacities feel understood.

How Etiquette Creates Belonging

Every choice in donor engagement sends a signal about who belongs. Details in invitations, outreach, introductions, seating arrangements, and even which stories you highlight can either open doors or quietly close them.

 For example, a formal gala may feel familiar and appealing to some donors but less inviting to others, particularly those new to philanthropy or approaching it from a different perspective. Modern etiquette does not discard traditions like the fundraising gala; it expands them. The goal is to help every attendee feel welcomed and valued. That can also mean exploring alternatives such as community-centered events, casual meet-and-greets, or virtual gatherings that create more inclusive opportunities for engagement.

This sense of belonging is powerful. When donors feel like insiders, they become personally invested in an organization’s mission success, which results in significantly higher levels of giving than those who simply remain on a mailing list. Modern etiquette creates that insider experience. It signals, “This space includes you. You are appreciated. You matter here.” And when donors believe they belong, generosity follows.

How to Build Loyalty and Trust through Adaptive Etiquette

When etiquette is treated as a set of rigid rules, it can create friction.  Missteps such as using a title someone dislikes, relying on one-size-fits-all communication, or assigning a donor to a “relationship owner” they rarely connect with may seem small, but over time they add up. These traditional terms of engagement can leave donors feeling like entries in a database rather than true partners in impact.

Adaptive etiquette begins with curiosity. From the moment a donor engages with your organization, ask:

• How do they want to be addressed?
• How do they prefer to learn about outcomes?
• Do they want direct access to your CEO, or would they rather build a connection with program staff?

Today, many high-capacity donors want both: strategic access to leadership and deeper ties to the people delivering impact.

This is why organizations should create multiple relationship touchpoints. A single point of contact can make stewardship brittle, but a team-based approach involving executives, frontline program leaders, and development officers builds stronger, more resilient loyalty and trust.

And these details matter. A recent Bloomerang article shared that loyal donors give 42% more over their lifetime and are 70% more likely to leave a planned gift. Etiquette is how you earn trust and build strong relationships in quiet unspoken moments.

Remember: Mastery of Etiquette Sets You Apart

In a competitive philanthropic landscape, donors can support any organization working on causes they care about. What differentiates one nonprofit from another is not just mission or outcomes. It is the donor experience.

Imagine this: a donor attending three events in one month. At two, they hear the same scripted remarks, receive generic acknowledgments, and leave without a single personal connection. At the third, someone remembers the name of their grandchild, seats them next to another supporter who shares similar passions, and thanks them with a story that ties directly to their giving. One experience makes them feel like an investor in impact. The others make them feel like an ATM.

Mastering etiquette is how you become the chosen organization. It transforms donor engagement from transactional to memorable. And in an environment where fewer people are giving more, organizations that deliver these experiences will capture disproportionate loyalty and revenue.

The Opportunity Ahead

Charitable giving is growing, but participation is shrinking. Individual donors remain the foundation of philanthropic revenue, yet their expectations are changing faster than most organizations are adapting. And retaining their interest—and their investment—requires more intentionality than ever before.

Etiquette is not an afterthought. It is not a soft skill. It is a strategic lever for expanding revenue, cultivating belonging, and sustaining relationships when philanthropic dollars are needed most.

As I once heard a respected industry leader remark, “When donors can give anywhere, they give more to the organization that stewards them best.” Organizations that embrace a modernized, adaptive approach to etiquette will stand out. They will earn trust where others rely on transactions. They will create belonging where others make donors feel peripheral. And they will grow their giving not by adding more names to the list, but by making every donor feel like the one who matters most.

Orr Group specializes in developing unique fundraising strategies that are mission-aligned, forward-thinking, and transformative. Get in touch to learn how we can help you develop the right strategy for your organization.

John Philligin is a Director at Orr Group. With over 15 years of experience, John has a proven track record of developing highly tailored cultivation and stewardship opportunities, designing and implementing new fundraising initiatives, managing high-performing fundraising events, and increasing support from individuals, foundations, and corporations.